Have to accept it

I'm done.

I can't keep wanting to bring another child into this world and our home when he can't do an equal share of the house work, or child care. 

And that thought kills me inside deep down. My dream of a large family is totally shattered. 

I could try finding someone new, but it will take over a year to get divorced, then get back out in the dating game. Find some guy who wants kids, get pregnant and have child. I'm 35 soon - I've pretty much run out of time and that's what kills me.

Frustration

So frustrated

Hard to be a team when it comes to housework & parenting when all he does is play video games 

Wheels!

Finally! Car is back! Yay! Freedom and no more busing! 

Jan 1, 2015

Really is a new beginning. It's a new year.

I'm still trying to process something - hubby's ex had her new baby last night. (It's not his, it's her husband's child). Hoping the child is okay, as they had to induce due to mothers health problems. 

It saddens me more then anything knowing that hubby's 3 kids with her won't get to meet their sister they have with hubby and I because of how selfish their mother is, but they will see this new sibling each and every day.

It's not fair for any of the kids involved 

But I'm going to start 2015 off grand! We slept at the inlaws last night and we've taken a few steps to get a better handle on our lives to make 2015 a much better life! 

2014 nearing an end, what will 2015 bring?

Well, been away from "home" for 2 nights and during those 2 nights I've realized that the 'band-aid' fixes on our marriage didn't do anything.

Told him tonight that it's over, and I'm not even upset - no tears, no emotions, no nothing. It doesn't bother me one bit.

He screwed up big time financially this weekend - spent money that was to go towards his bus pass to go out with his friend justin instead. And he still hasn't paid the rent which he was suppose to take care of on Thursday.

More to come, I'm tired. It's after 1 am 

Thanksgiving!

The joys & benefits of being a dual citizen: two thanksgivings every year! 

Drive down to my dads today :) well actually I rode with my sister, her husband and their 1 year old son. I brought with me my daughter of course!

Had a wonderful thanksgiving dinner filled with lots of family, and then left the two kiddos with grandma and grandpa while we went shopping!

Got a few things at Kohls, including their door buster sale of 32 inch tv for 99 (not me, my brother in law did) and a few other things - the kiddos Christmas Eve movies, and a gift for Celeste. Going to head back tomorrow, as long as my transfer hits my bank in time!

Then it was off to walmart! Got a few door buster sales there too! Tool chest for $80, 10" tablet, with case & keyboard for $80, and while there, dad called and asked is to grab him a tv - 32" for $98 lol

Went back to dads place, hung out there for a bit and then packed up the kiddos and went to the hotel room. C is sleeping :) and I'm off to bed. My holiday and I have to be hubby's alarm clock cuz he's not a morning person and still has to work at 7am

Back on track

Slowly I'm getting life back on track in the right direction. Bills are caught up, or close to it, house is getting more and more organized and P and I are communicating better and working as a team around here both as parents and as adults (regarding upkeep of the house)

Now if only I could come up with the money to pay for the car repair from the water damage that insurance isn't covering. Would love a miracle of $1700 by Wednesday! That would just be the best thing right now.

Our boarding kitty Jasper has gone home :) kinda miss him in a way, but Puzzle is settling down and going back to her pre-Jasper self so that makes me happy. 

C is potty training! Big step for my big girl! She knows what to do, but doesn't recognize all the signs just yet so lots of accidents but she's getting there! 

Been on a winning streak for Tula baby carriers......won 3 in the past month or so - 1st Toddler Half Girasol ChiChi, 2nd Standard Hero, 3rd Toddler Semi Ornamental Circles :) thinking I might sell ChiChi and get P a PS4 for Christmas....will decide after I see it in person next week!

Think I'm buying a lotto ticket for tonight's draw ;)