Unsettled Day

Today was not a good day.

Training at work went pretty well, until bedtime for C - she just wouldnt settle down and therefore couldnt be in the room while I was training so she had to be taken back downstairs.

However, yet again I know nothing about raising kids or infants. Being covered and in his carseat is not good enough for my nephew to be able to go see Santa for First Christmas Pictures. But allowing him to go to baby groups that have 20+ babies at them at various ages, and carrying who knows what illnesses from any siblings they might have is A-Okay. Right. That objection is coming from my brother in law.

Oh and then our application for housing got mailed back to us too :( We submitted it 3 weeks ago and it took them till now to mail it back. So now I have to go down and resubmit it and wait another month almost for some answers as to a place to live. I was hoping to be in a place of our own before Christmas but that doesnt seem likely unless I win the Lottery.

I'm so upset right now, I'm just going to sign off. I'd go do a work out 'cuz that's how I deal with stress/frustration but no gym membership, no way other then walking to get to the gym and no gym open right now at 11:30pm on a Monday night. It's too cold to be outside doing a workout as it's dropping down to -25 C and colder with the windchill at night lately.

It's Started!

Well, our new beginning is on it's way! I started my new job just over a week ago. Today was my 6th full day of actual training on what I will be doing and learning how to do everything.

It's been a rollercoaster of a week though. My first nephew was born last weekend on Nov 16 :) I'm so excited to be an Auntie! However my advice and suggestions feel like they are falling on deaf ears. My nephew is a preemie and his parents are already being told to make him get used to sleeping alone, in a crib/bassinet without anyone beside him to comfort him. And I'm totally against this :( This is something I've done a lot of research on and for a child, let alone an infant of his age to be put in a crib/bassinet all by himself when he can barely maintain his body temperature it breaks my heart. All the myths from years ago - "if you pick up your baby everytime they cry, you are spoiling them" "dont hold your baby while they sleep" just to name a few, are just that - Myths. And a great way to teach children to be cold and not have empathy. Holding your baby (especially a 35 week preemie) while he sleeps does so much more help then it can ever do harm.  He can still hear your heartbeat, and that will calm him if he's scared or fussy. He can feel your skin and help him maintain his body temperature. He can smell you and know that you are safe and love him. If you are breastfeeding, it's a learning process. It's not going to happen overnight. You have to learn how to do it, and so does he. It's going to take time. Lots of skin to skin time. Offer him the breast often. If he suckles ALL DAY LONG that will help with so many things! If it's right after birth, it will help your breast milk come in, if it's around the 3 week mark it's because he's having a growth spurt. Let him nurse. You can never over feed a nursing baby. However, if you feed him a bottle after EVERY nursing session then you will overfed him and he will get sick. all. over. you!

DH has been laid off now too. Now is the wait for the paperwork from his former employer so that he can go to the Employment Insurance and get his claim going. He's going to go talk to them and see what his options are and whats the best route for him to take.

C has enjoyed having her cousin home :) She always wants to hold him and no one else is allowed to hold him! However she just cant support his head yet in her lap so an adult sits beside her and holds his neck/head for support while the rest of his body rests against her legs. She then "pets" him, she's gentle most of the time, but there is the occasional time that she is too hard and then he gets upset - more from being startled then anything.

Hoping for answers on our new place soon! It would be great if we could be in our own place in time for Christmas :) I'd really love to celebrate C's first real Christmas by making memories of our little family together alone in our own place! It would be even better if DH's other kids could be there too, and if they could meet their sister but that doesnt look to be happening any time soon. It's the kids (all of them) that are suffering - K (he's 11), D (he's 9) and A (she's a month shy of being 7) and C (17 months) that are suffering because they dont get to have a relationship.

And there's another can of worms - their mom seems to have a grudge against my MIL because she hasnt returned a call regarding K's birthday (back in August), What to get the kids for Christmas/Birthday, Halloween, When they are getting together to exchange gifts during the holidays. My MIL is so hurt by her actions and there is not a damn thing any of us can do. The last time MIL spoke to her, was shortly after her wedding back in July. She's so jealous over DH moving on from her. Something that she's supposedly  have done, having found someone to marry and taking about having kids with him. But you cant move on, if the fact that DH and I have a child together sends you into such a tizzy that spurn the children's grandmother whether it's out of jealousy or spite. Mine or C's name cant be said around her or the other kids or she goes off on whomever mentions them. I feel so bad for the kids and wish that there was something more that could be done. But without a lot of $ there is nothing we can do :( Our hands are tied.

Really hoping that things continue to move forward for us :) Get back on our feet, enjoy our daughter, enjoy watching her grow and teaching her new things, but also us growing as adults and partners - supporting each other and doing our best to provide for our family.

K, D and A never forget that no matter what we love you and always will. One day you will get to meet your sister C :) And your cousin J!

I leave you with one of my favorite performances from tonight's AMA's 2013 :) Pitbull featuring Keisha - Timber (hope the link work's, it's the YouTube video)

Pitbull Featuring Keisha - Timber LIVE AMA 2013

Nervous

Ok, the countdown is officially on! I start my new job on Tuesday afternoon. And that kinda scares me :) but in a good way. It's a new style of job, that I havent done, in a field I've never worked in before and I am looking forward to it.

The countdown is also on, for when I become an official Auntie! My sister will be having her baby sometime during the week of November 18th. Exact date is yet to be determined but that will be figured out later very soon after a few tests are completed.

Now the bad news. DH is getting laid off :( They first told him, he wasnt going to get laid off, that they were going to keep him on but he got told on friday that he's being laid off. I guess the original date was suppose to be Nov 15th, but he's talked them in to letting him stay on until Nov 22. He is looking for other work, but no idea exactly when he will get something.

Hoping that this week, we hear about getting our place. That would be nice. Getting our own place again just our little family.

History

It's been a tough few months around here. We have been at our lowest point since July. Homeless. No place of our own to raise our daughter and despite working full time, my husband (DH) hasnt been able to provide for our daughter (DD) and I. My maternity leave for DD ended in June and therefore I found a new job that was less stress then my job from before Maternity leave. Downside, it's only part time, 1 day a week :( I also sell Tupperware, but with everything going on in the past few months my focus has been on keeping DD's routine the same as possible the best I could and therefore I havent been able to put the focus on Tupperware that I need to to build my client base (I'm a newer consultant). DH was earning enough to support us, to pay the rent, etc however his paychecks were garnished illegally for 4 extra paychecks so we had no money to pay the rent, let alone food or anything else. We are currently staying with family but we cant stay here forever as the rental company refuses to add us to the lease.

I must say though, that I have found a new job! I start in less than 2 weeks and I'm excited! It's a work from home opportunity which means I dont feel so bad about my mom watching DD while I work, and for a while, i'm still going to work at my part time job too if I can schedule it right once my training is done, as all of our belongings are in storage.

We have an application in for low rent housing, so I'm hoping that that goes through very quickly and we can be back into our own place by Christmas! But the wait list can be very long, so it could be a few months before we can get a place. We are still applying for other places, but most of them are out of our price range until my new job kicks in.

Well it's time to get DD down for her nap and grab some lunch for myself (she already ate while I was filling out paperwork for new job!) But I will post again tonight!